Here we are at ep 115, after a bit of a hiatus. And the first thing we get to see is a pretty, nakie Justin bum as he steps out of the shower and wraps a towel around himself. Why wasn’t I doing these things, again? * grins * As Justin proceeds to get his bum covered, Linds lectures Brian on the proper care and feeding of the Gus baby, who she is leaving with Brian for the weekend so that she can go on a conference of some sort. So Lindsay went back to her teaching gig after her and Mel split? Guess that’s what she needed the sitter for last ep. You know, the one that she couldn’t afford to pay, so she begged money off of Brian for when he was on the verge of unemployment himself? And why didn’t she ask Mel, again? It seems to me that Mel still considers Gus as her kid, too. ANYway, back on track. Proper care and feeding of Baby Gus-Gus. Brian is kind of blowing Linds off, thinking that he can handle things just fine on his own. Right. Wait until the kid’s first real screaming fit over nothing, Bri, baby, then go on thinking that you got it covered. Justin is all cute and wet and missing his shoe, which Brian happens to be sitting on. That seems uncomfortable. Why didn’t he move it as soon as he noticed he was sitting on the damn thing? Or better yet, why didn’t he look where he was sitting before he sat? And because I am a pervy perv, I think that they must have had some serious fun the night before, what with Justin’s shoes being on chairs instead of the floor. Wonder where his undies spent the night. *looks at chandelier * Nevermind. Found em.
Lindsay is worried. Justin promises that he will watch him, too. Brian says he doesn’t need his help with Gus. Justin: I meant you. Me: * snort *. Brian says that he wont fuck up. I grin, because he means it. Lindsay bites her nails. Linds says that she is leaving Gus with Brian because she trusts him. Brian tells her that she is leaving Gus with him because Mel is unavailable. Well, that’s dumb. What if there happens to be another hospital scare like the one in 109? Mel would only be able to scream at the nurses. Sad, wrong, but true, true, true.
At Mikey and David’s house of fun, they are preparing for a young visitor of their own. Now, before you freak and think that you have stumbled onto an mpreg fic gone wrong, get ahold of yourself and remember that this is a recap. Mikey-because you know that if it were possible, it could only ever be him, hee-is NOT in the family way, thankyouverymuch. The young visitor that they are expecting is David’s son, who he had with a woman, because as far as I know Mpreg is still completely unachievable, thank you God and hallelujah. Could you just see men being preggers? * shudders * But I digress. The point is that they are preparing for Hank, and clearing out the guest room. David is excited, and manages to freak Mikey the hell out about his kid and how wonderful he is. Mikey is afraid that Hank wont like him
Cut to Emmett and Ted. Oh, our Emmett is back in his full glory, with the outfits that are thisclose to being scary and probably would be on anyone else, but on him are wonderful, wonderful. Oh, Em, don’t ever become a pod person again. * wipes tear from eye and sniffles * I don’t know where the two of them are, but there are lots of stairs. Emmett is taking Ted to lunch, and he suggests a lot of things that make my mouth water. Ted systematically rejects every last one of em, and then proceeds to tell Em that he could really go for-and listst the most boring lunch in the history of boring lunches. Em whines that Ted eats the same thing every damn day. Ted likes routine, but IMHO that is waaaaaaaaaaaay too much routine. Branch out, Ted. It’ll do ya good. They run into a guy that Ted used to know from college, and Em thinks that he is hot. I don’t.
At the diner, Mikey is whining about Hank, David’s oh so perfect son. I am amused. Does Mikey really believe that Hank is so awesomely awesome that he can do everything? David is a daddy. All parents think that their kids are the best at everything, all the time. Or they at least like to talk them up as much as possible. It’s sweet. Justin is also amused. Mikey is the wicked stepmother. Justin laughs, Brian laughs, I laugh. Mikey scowls and tells Justin to bugger off. Justin does, but not before Mikey realizes that he was right. Mikey is the wicked stepmother. Oh, please, Mikey, you’ll do fine. Brian agrees. Says that Hank will be crazy about him. After all, Brian is. Mikey kind of rolls his eyes here, but I’m grinning. If they 12 year old trapped inside a 30 yr (Brian: 29! I’m 29, dammit!) old’s body with the attention span of a gnat (except for when it comes to pretty blond twinks and JB) adores the hell out of Mikey, an actual twelve year old should be a walk in the park. Deb finds out that Hank is coming, but is too busy cooing over Gus to freak about it. Then she finds out that Linds left the kid with Brian, and suddenly finds the time to schedule a freak out. She demands to know if he knows what a Huggieâ is. Mikey: here’s a hint, it’s not a sexual position. Me: *cracks up for some inexplicable reason * Brian pretends to be dumb, and as one, Mikey, Deb, and Justin are all, “It’s a diaper!” I crack up some more. Brian knows all about ‘em. He was fucking this guy for a while who liked to wear them when he (Brian) spanked him. Justin: Gross. Deb gives him a look and says, “It’s kinky.” In this dry, you-should-know-this-what-kind-of-gay-bo
Deb reminds Brian that this is the weekend of the leather ball, and Brian says that this year he’ll be trading his leather jockstrap for rubber pants. I go all aww, until Brian’s eye is caught by one of the leather clad men walking by. Then I roll my eyes. Whatever kind of pants Brian is wearing, I’m betting they don’t stay on for the whole ep. What?
At the airport, Michael and David are awaiting the Hank-meister. Thanks to Justin, Mikey is even more nervous. It probably doesn’t help that the first thing out of Hank’s mouth is “Wow, you’re young.” Hee. Hank-1, Mikey-0. Then Mikey gets pushed out of the way at the escalator and gets to watch as David and Hank don’t even notice. This isn’t going to be a see Mikey be jealous of his boyfriend’s son ep, is it?
Speaking of sons, Gus is having that screaming fit that I mentioned earlier. And Brian is at his wits end. It’s killing me. The poor guy just wants Gus to suck on his damn binky. He sucks on it himself for a moment, then goes for the gold, telling Gus to imagine that it is a nipple or a cock, “whatever gets you there” .It’s so fucking cute that just like that, I forgive Brian for whatever shit he pulled before in the series, even for Hotlanta. Can’t help it. Gus finally takes the pacifier as the food that Brian ordered finally arrives. He opens the door to find-his own daddy. Oh, motherfucker. Something tells me that this happy home scene is soon to be over. There it goes. Jack goes all ga ga over Gus, and Brian carefully omits his being Gus’ father. He thinks that his dad came for money, but his dad is like nahh, I got cancer. Surprise! Brian goes back to his stone face impression. Oh, ouch. And then, as if things couldn’t get more fuckered up, sesame noodle guy arrives with Brian’s food. Brian’s thinking “why the hell couldn’t you have gotten here about ten minutes ago, asshole?”
Morning at David and Mikey’s happy fun house, and it is painful to watch David try to connect with his son. I kind of think that Hank is being a deliberate ass, though, and he proves it when Mikey comes down stairs and Hank smirks at him while asking him how he slept. Oooh, the doc has thin walls. Nice. And kind of icky. Then Hank flips out and tells Mikey that he didn’t want to be there at all. Double ouch.
Justin cooks! Waffles! Marry me, Justin! NOW!! Deb fawns over Gus for a bit, and Brian tries to get her to babysit. She says no, but not because she doesn’t want to. Because she has the graveyard shift. Brian finally reveals the real reason that he is there. He wanted to tell Dab about his dad. No, really. I really do think that he is all fuckered up about it and needed to go to his mom. It’s kind of sweet. Deb tells Brian he should let his father know that he is gay, and Brian balks, but he’s thinking about it. Then he asks Justin what he is doing for the evening. Justin looks all hopeful, but I’m thinking that Brian isn’t going to be asking him to do anything with him. I’m thinking it has to do with his mini me.
Leather ball, and everyone is there. Including Ted. Who is still boring as hell. Then Ted finds out that his old college buddy is in fact a dungeon master. He offers Ted a turn, Ted freaks and runs. Brian is there too, having found a sitter. Three guesses as to who, and the first two don’t count. Brian’s parenting skills really leave something to be desired here. I know that Brian is messed up about his own dad, but he does need to learn that his kid has to come first. When you’re a parent, even if you aren’t full time, you sometimes need to push your own shit aside so that you can be there for your kid. Not that I think that a parent should be some sort of slave to their child, but if you have your kid for the weekend, then you should be with your kid. For the weekend.
Speaking of maybe not so great parenting, David is forcing Hank and Mikey through a tour o’ Pittsburgh. Uck. Neither one of them seems to be that into it, but Davey’s enthusiasm is more than making up for their lack of it. And then Mikey tries to go back to his old place so that Hank wont be uncomfy, but David convinces him to stay. I like that Mikey is really trying to get Hank. It’s sweet. Yes, I just said sweet and Mikey in the same sentence. I really forgot how much I like him in S1. Wow.
Back at the leather ball, Brian starts to get it on, until someone decides that Brian needs a daddy. Brian doesn’t, and leaves. I don’t like this scene. Makes me uncomfortable. I don’t know why, but… * cringes * Maybe it’s the way that the guy just cant seem to take no for an answer. Brian returns home to see Mel freaking out on Justin., who apparently didn’t test the milk on his arm before he fed Gus. Because he didn’t know to. This drives me a little nuts. Didn’t Justin ask to feed Gus earlier in the ep? And doesn’t he have a sister who is like, nine years younger than him? What, did Justin never watch anyone else feed either baby? Give a break. Whatever. Point is that Mel came over to check on Gus, and obviously must have just punched in the code to the door and used the key herself-why does she have a key, again?-because otherwise how did she walk in just in time to rescue Gus from being scalded by the unobservant Justin? She is really pissed at Brian, and tells him that he is a piece of work, pawning his son off on anyone just so-Brian interrupts with a “Justin isn’t anyone”. All heated. The fangirl in me takes this time to squeal a little, and then we are back to business. Justin is really upset, and Mel soothes him, saying that it isn’t about him. Which it really isn’t. She says it’s about Brian being irresponsible but I think it is more about her being pissed off that Brian has more claim to Gus than she does, so technically she cant take him away. Though she does try. And then he throws her lack of rights in her face, very cruelly. Ouch, again. Then Mel lets him have it, quietly. “I may be no one, but at least I know that his needs come before mine.” She’s right. I know that there are probably a million and three Brian lovers out there who would want to kill me for saying it, but she’s right. And by the look on Brian’s face, he knows it.
David is still forcing his happy fun time on Mikey and Hank, when he gets a page. He has a client, who needs him. NOW. So he takes off, and Hank and Mikey bond over comic books. Finally. ‘Bout time someone blew off David’s “let’s fill up every moment with a bundle of fun” list.
At the diner, Deb is really proud of Brian for taking care of Gus and skipping the leather ball. Ted and Em smirk, but let her think it. Justin gets ready to spill the beans, but Brian pulls Justin practically into his lap and threatens him, so Justin settles for saying he helped. Ahh, these glimmers of teh lurve. Emmett now wants baby back ribs. Ted spends another three seconds staring at the menu, then orders his usual, with Justin, Em, Deb, and even Brian helpfully pitching in. Then he feels too predictable and, predictably, freaks out. Oh, I love Ted. SO much. Brian takes this time to snark at Ted. Ah, hell, I kind of like him, too. Kind of. * grins *
Brian goes and tells his dad that he is gay. His completes the very fun lesson on how NOT to parent by telling Brian that he should be the one who is dying. Oh, what a fuckass. Brian’s like, “But I’m not. YOU are.” Me: “damn straight. And hurry up about it, would you? Fucker.” Brian leaves, and I hurt for him. That’s just. Ouch.
David comes upon Hank and Michael reading comics, and gets pissed to find out that they didn’t do anything on his list. Oh, shut up, David. Can’t you see that your kid is happy? Okay, maybe Mikey could have explained things a little bit nicer. Sheesh, Mikey. That two-by-four that you’re using to pound David over the head with. Put. It., Down. Though maybe it’s what David needs to get him to finally admit that he is wrong. David calms down and apologizes to his kid. As he is getting ready to go home. Oh, David. But Hank gets happy and hugs are shared all around. Sweet. And David kind of gives Mikey the apology that he deserves. In a round about way.
Ted goes back to the dungeon master, to get a lesson in submission. And loosening the fuck up. Well. He’ll be loose at the end of the night, one way or the other. Hee. Bad puns are so fun.
At Brian’s, Linds reams him out for leaving Gus with Justin. She goes a bit far, saying that Brian has never been there for anyone else, except himself. Right. Because it wasn’t you he was writing all those fucking checks to, EVEN WHEN HE COULDN’T FUCKING AFFORD IT!!! Grrrrrrr. Brian fucked up, but I hate how Linds is turning it into a diatribe about how Brian doesn’t love anyone but himself. Shut up, you money grubbing bitch. * breathes * Okay, I’m better now. In a long standing tradition of everyone on the show, Jack now walks into Brian’s place without knocking…or being buzzed up first. He gives Brian a pic of the two of them from when Brian was a baby. Brian says that he doesn’t want it and throws it on the ground. Brian thaws towards his dad long enough to let him know that Gus is his grandson. Jack holds the little baby boy, and Brian goes back to the pic of him and his dad, and picks it up. He stares at it a bit, and the end is upon us. Of the ep, that is