When last we met, Justin had gotten Brian to pay attention to him by stealing away his evening’s entertainment, Mel and Linds argued over Brian’s place in their life together and then made up, Emmett found and lost love and then danced the night away, Ted OD’d thanks to cute twink Blake and Mikey was jealous, though not because of anything to do with Ted.
Starting 104, the boys are also reminiscing about their night out on the town while breakfasting at Liberty Diner. Mikey begins, telling the story of the hottie he picked up with Brazilian parasites up his cute little bum, then Emmett takes over to talk about his night of bondage-y fun with the undertaker, and no, not the wrestler. Brian apparently had an undertaker once (because Brian has had someone in every profession and capacity now, up to and including a high school student. Truly, it is something to aspire to.) and I guess the undertaker man was into talking whilst getting it on, considering he told Brian that “sometimes they sew the mouths shut”, and we all know that Brian’s idea of tricking is ‘wham, bam, thank you…sir, now what the fuck are you still doing here?’ Unless it was like the bathroom trick from ep 102 and they had a chat while they were washing their hands...though I don’t see how that particular topic would make a man wanna go for it. Then again, it is Brian, so it’s perfectly possible. Probable, even.
The boys are suitably creeeped, and Brian is smug, having done his duty for the day, apparently. Then Emmett asks it. “So, Brian, what’d you do?” Em knows what-or rather who-Brian did, and so does Michael, who looks more than interested as he waits for Brian’s reply. Now it’s time to see if he will admit to it. Brian gets all pensive-like and relives the fond memory of the night before, which is all blue and pretty and Justin-filled, and then says, “I made it an early evening.” Which leaves the possibility for Brian going home alone even if he doesn’t come right out and say it. No one buys it, but Em changes the subject anyway. He is obsessed with the sewing of the mouths, and begs that the guys not to let that happen to him, because he definitely wants to talk in Heaven. It’s about this time that Deb shows up and tells them that they should be at the hospital to see Ted, who is comatose thanks to his adventures in Stupid Idiot who Should Know Better Than to Take Drugs From Some Random Twink Land. Okay, she asks, but she really means get your butts over there, now! And because it’s Debbie, they do.
When they get to the hospital, they meet Ted’s mother, who is really upset. Can’t say that I blame her; I would be, too. Everyone is really uncomfy, so Brian lightens his tension by eye-fucking a nurse passing by. Michael is appalled, but no one else is, really. They know that drill. Well, maybe Ted’s mom would be if she saw, but she’s too busy freaking out about not knowing her son. Brian is also appalled. If Mikey had given him five more seconds he could have had himself a pre-work pick me up.
Getting away from depressing hospital scenes has never been better, because we have a sleeping!Justin to look at. See, now, if all of CowLip’s abrupt scene changes had gone like this, no one would have complained. *grin* But little Justin is going to be late for school if he doesn’t get his cute little bubble butt up and at ‘em! So his mummy comes and wakes him, and Justin goes to hop in the shower. She considers this the perfect opportunity to snoop, and so goes through his sketch pad. First there’s all these happy nakey boy drawings, and Jen nearly has a heart attack…and then she flips the page, and I have an attack of my own-the giggles. Justin has Brian’s name scrawled all over the page like some fifteen year old girl. It’s a beautiful thing. Just as the cry of “Why my baby? Why him?” wont be held back, Justin appears. “I’m out of shampoo.” Jennifer tells him that she will get some and hurries out of there like the hounds of Hell are on her tail.
Back at the cheerful hospital, the boys have gotten permission to look in on Ted, and Brian decides that right there is the best place to drop the bomb that he and Ted almost fucked. Both the others are like, “Really? Tell us everything!” So Brian does. Apparently he had an orgy at his place and Ted came by to do something accountant-like, and got caught up in the fun and tried to fuck Brian. Because in the end, that is all it’s really about. Brian. And those who want to fuck him. Mikey chastises him for talking about it when Ted could die, but really I think that he’s just upset that Ted got to almost get what Mikey never will. Then he says that it could be any of them, and Brian snaps that it couldn’t, because they all know better than to take drugs from random twinks who say it's "really good shit". I love that he includes Emmett in this, and it helps form my opinion that for all the times that Brian does pick on Emmett, he really respects him, as well. Likes him, though he’d probably never admit it.
Back to Justin, who got to school just in time for the lecture on what yearning is. Yay for him. Justin isn’t really paying attention to the teach, though. He’s too busy drawing Chris Hobbes (football boy from 102) sitting naked on his chair. Daphne, observing this over Justin's shoulder, is amused. Teach hones in on her and Justin’s giggles and questions Justin. Justin is more than ready for it. Then Hobbes garners himself a detention. That is really all you need to know. Justin gets himself an idea, too.
Once again at the hospital, Mikey explains to Ted’s mom what probably happened for her son to wind up in a coma, and she asks the burning question, “would this have happened if my son were straight? Would a woman have left him there like that?” Me: Bet your ass! Mikey: Uh…*blank stare*. My answer was so much better.
Brian, it seems, has gone to work, which is where Mel finds him to tell him that Ted made him the executer of his Living Will. Nice, huh? Because Mel is Ted’s lawyer, it is her duty to tell Brian this thing. Brian: *glares* Mel: doesn’t care. And then Brian gets all pissy because he’s “the secret you two (Mel and Ted) have been keeping or share or something to that affect. Why didn’t you tell me?” I do NOT like Brian right now. Granted, I haven’t really liked him since the end of 101, so this is no shock. But please. Like Ted was just gonna drop that little bit of info over dinner at the diner or drinks at Babylon. “By the way, Brian, old bean, guess what I did this morning? Gave you the control over pulling my plug. It’s just as a precaution, of course. You know, in case some random twink causes me to overdose and I wind up in a coma. That sort of thing. Here’s to hoping you never have to use it!” Yep. That would go over well. *rolls eyes* Mel is incredulous. “I was hoping I wouldn’t have to!” I can’t remember if she storms out, but even if we didn’t see it, I’m betting she did.
Justin again, who is putting his plan into action and helping Chris clean out the storeroom or equipment shed; whatever. He’s flirty, and Chris really doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, he’s rather happy to sit there and tell Justin the story of when he almost got off with some slut at the school. Justin’s gaydar apparently sucks, because he thought that this particular girl was a lesbian. Perhaps she met Brian and he was so hot she went straight? I wouldn’t put that past CowLip. So, anyway, as he’s telling the story, Chris-in what I am so sure is a totally hetero, not-having-gay-thoughts-about-the-pretty-J
While Justin is busy doing naughty things at school, Brian is in the steam room, for once not even thinking about doing naughty things. What Melanie told him has really shaken him up. The guys discuss the one question on everyone’s minds: why the hell Ted would pick Brian. They go through some dumb ideas first, though I do think that “I love you, kill me” would be a pretty interesting pick up line, and finally settle on Ted’s knowing that no one else in his life could do it. Brian got the job by default. Nice.
Meanwhile, Jen has gotten Justin right where she wants him: alone, in a place where he can’t run away. Sounds wrong when I say it like that, doesn’t it? Sort of incestuous. But no, Jen does not want to get her son alone for that reason, thank God. She wants to tell him about her first boyfriend, and use that to segue into talking about Justin’s boyfriend-because that is what she thinks Brian is. Oh, how I wish that Brian could hear that one. He’d run, screaming, into the night, never to be heard from again. Justin freaks and runs away. Three guesses where he’s going.
But enough of that for now. Oooh! The Lesbians’ house! Linds is holding Gus when someone raps on the door. It’s Brian, who tells her that he can’t stay; he doesn’t have a lot of time. Linds tells him he can kiss his son, which he does, and okay, a part of me melts. What? It’s obvious that he loves the little boy so much, and I’m not made of stone. Mel, though, must be, because all she seems to care about is that it is Gus’ bath time and Brian needs to call when he wants to come over. Actually, it’s pretty genial for Mel, so maybe she isn’t stone woman, either. Brian immediately gives Gus-who has gotten teeny tiny again, btw-back to Lnds. He says that he’s not going to pull Ted’s plug, so Mel needs to find someone else. Things escalate into a big fight, where Mel calls Brian a big coward. Brian leaves, and Linds tries to reason with Mel. She asks if it were her lying there, could Mel do it? Mel isn’t sure, but I think that this just a tad bit different. For one, Mel loves Linds, Brian just sort of tolerates Ted. Though I can see why Brian wouldn’t want to do it. It’s a big responsibility, having someone’s life in your hands like that. Still, I think that Brian is being a bit of a drama queen about it, especially when the way he deals is to head to some dark room and try to get himself into orgy mode. It doesn’t work, however, because Brian is busy angsting.
I know that you thought that Justin would run to Brian, but nope, he winds up at Daph’s. And okay, so he just wants her to drive him to Brian’s, but still. Daph isn’t supposed to be driving anywhere; she is grounded. But hell, Justin beats Beloved any day of the week, so she ends up driving him, first to the loft, then to “the crazy lady from the diner’s”. (Deb, in Daphspeak)
Ted’s mother has decided that she will pack him a bag for when he wakes up. She has the key to his place and just wants to do this one thing for him. Shit. There are things at Ted’s home that no mother should ever see, no matter how accepting she is of his lifestyle. Yes, even Deb, though she probably wouldn’t agree with me. So Mikey and Emmett head over to Ted’s place, where they learn that Ted: uses You’ve Got Mail as a porn vid, still has every single dildo out of the thirty three that Mikey and Em bought him for his thirty-third, and, oh, yeah, has a deep bordering on obsessive love for Michael, complete with shrine. Yep. Finding this results in the two helpers heading to Woody’s for a drink, where they tell each other some of their secrets. It is a really good friendship moment, and I love it. Love it.
At the hospital once again, Brian is visiting Ted and ranting at his comatose body. Talking about how he wants Ted to live so that he won’t have to give him what he wants. And then he says he will do it, if it comes to that. “But not for you. For me.” He really is messed up about it, isn’t he? But I guess the cure for angsting is ranting at people in comas, because when the nurse the Brian cruised earlier offers him some “comfort”, Brian doesn’t hesitate in his acceptance of it. Which is of course when Ted wakes up. He looks over at Brian, boffing the nurse, and says, “Jesus.” I laugh. Can’t help it. Poor Teddy.
Deb has called Mikey to come and get Justin. She knows that it is all about Brian, though, and so does Michael. He wants the twink to go home. Justin is such a little liar. He says that his dad threatened to disown him and called him a big queer. Vic is concerned. “He didn’t hit you, did he?” Mikey: Don’t tell me you actually believe this BS? Stop coddling Brian’s one night stand! Justin: Not just one. (And he’s so smug about it, too. Little shit). Mikey: Don’t bet on it! Me: Mikey Novotny, ladies and gents. Living proof that De-Nile ain’t just a river in Egypt.
Justin thinks that Brian will let him stay at his place. Riiight. Something tells me that Brian would NOT let the ubertwink stay. Looks too much like he gives a shit. Mikey agrees with me. So Justin says that he will run away, become a hustler and sell his body to gross old homos. Vic very generously offers to save him the train fare. He figures he fits the bill for hustler!Justin. Deb directs Justin to the bathroom “for guests and drama quens” when he jumps up and says he’s gonna lose the sandwich Deb made him. Sure he is. He looked like he was enjoying it far too much to toss it up. He just wants to be nosy and poke around in Mikey’s old room. He spots a pic of a younger Brian/Michael moment, and he picks it up with a fond smile.
Downstairs, Brian has just arrived per Mikey’s call. He wonders how Justin found Deb, and Mikey cries that they all find her. I’m wondering now if Justin isn’t the first of Brian’s tricks to try the stalking game, and if so, why he didn’t give in to any of them? Because that’s what he’s doing with Justin, even if he acts like he isn’t. The scene shows it better than anything when after cutting off Mikey’s whining by telling him that Ted woke up, he goes up to Mikey’s room and does this push/pull thing with Justin. Justin tries to kiss him twice and he pushes him away, but then when Justin seems to understand that Brian doesn’t want him (pshaw, says me), Brian pulls him back and plants one on him. And gets a bj for doing so. I figure that he knew he was going to be getting some, but he wanted it to look like it was all his doing; he’s the one in control. Which he actually kind of is, even though Justin could just bite down. Ouch. But of course he wont, because he kind of worships Brian right now. The best part of this whole thing is that Mikey knows exactly what is going on, and is seething with jealousy. Hee. Jealous!Mikey makes me laugh.
So the boys come downstairs all refreshed and chipper, and Deb has decided that she and Mikey will be taking Justin home, because Brian sure as hell can’t do it, and if Vic goes...well...it just doesn’t look proper. Mikey is safe...and Jen knows that her son has better taste than Mikey. :) But before they do that, Michael wants a word with Brian. Uh-oh. Their conversation is as follows:
Mikey: Anything you want to say?
Brian: *shakes his head*
Mikey: Fine. Then I’ll talk. (Me: No, really, you don’t have to-nuts) You can fuck him at your place, you can fuck him at his school, you can fuck him at the zoo (me: The zoo, Mikey? WTF? Where did you pull that one from? The zoo...)But you cannot fuck him in my mother’s house. In MY room!
Ah, the crux of the problem. Justin and Brian have just tainted Mikey’s only memory of Brian going anywhere near his dick. Now when he goes upstairs and pulls out that old Patrick Swayze photo, all he’ll be able to think about will be Brian and Justin making whoopee on his bed. *snort* I personally think that it’ll give him better fodder for whacking. Just sayin’.
In the car with Deb, Justin is all smug and Michael is still seething and Deb is oblivious. She is going on about what makes a person gay or not. Talking about finger lengths and how that can’t be it because Michael has perfectly normal fingers and he’s about as gay as you get. They arrive at Justin’s, and suddenly he isn’t so smug anymore. He goes inside and Deb comments on what a rude little shit he is. I concur, but I still love him. She gives Jen some pretty good advice for dealing with Justin, and it makes Mikey all jumpy, so she whacks him upside the head...and if she didn’t, well then she should’ve.
At the hospital, Ted is getting ready to go home, and his mom goes on about how nice of a guy Michael is. I think that she hints that they would make a cute couple, and Ted looks uncomfortable. I sense that his relationship with his mother isn’t the best one. Then it is on to Teddy’s house, where the boys have bought him chicken and other foods to restock his fridge with, seeing as Michael removed all the cheese as evidence of Ted’s gayness. Yeah, I don’t know what he was thinking, either. That one probably came from the same place as the zoo comment earlier. Ted and Mikey wind up in Ted’s room, where Mikey tries to tell Ted that he can come to him with his feelings for him, badly. Ted doesn’t get it, and all of us are saved from further embarrassment when Brian pokes his head in and intones, “Are you going to come eat the chicken?” For some reason I love this line, and usually rewind my DVD to hear it again. Don’t ask; it’s safer that way. Before Ted gets to eat the chicken, though, Brian wants to know: why him? Easy. He’s a heartless shit. No, really, that’s what Teddy says, and then he exits, leaving Brain to ponder how Ted's choosing him really was nothing personal.
Cut to Babylon, where Mikey and Brian are dancing. Brian says: I want it to be you. The peanut gallery, also known as the viewers, cringe. At least I did. Before I knew what was coming next, that is. Mikey grins and says that he wants it to be Brian, too. “You pull my plug.” Funny thing? I think that this is sweet, if a little not-so-smart on Brian's part. Because let’s face it, Mikey wouldn’t have been able to pull Ted’s plug, so what the hell makes Brian think he’ll be able to pull his? Brian would be a veggie forever if Mikey was the one who had to pull his plug. Though I do think that Brian might have an easier time of it pulling Mikey’s plug than Ted’s. No, I’m not saying that he likes Ted more, but he knows Mikey. He knows when Mikey would want to let go. And he knows that ultimately, he would be doing it for his best friend. *nods* But that’s not the point here. The point is that they agree to pull each other’s plugs. And then they dance some more, to seal the deal. And I flinch, because neither one of them is very good at it. At all.
So ends 104. And tomorrow (or tonight, depending), 105!