Lizz (random_glitch) wrote,

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Challenge fic that I cannot believe came out of my brain

Okay, before I even post this fic of mine, I want to say that this is actually a challenge fic that I'm writing for hyperchica11 at: 

The challenge was to pick two touching horizontal keys on the keyboard and write a fic with a pairing whose names(first or last) begin with the two letters. Ex: keys F&G could be Fred/Greg(as in Goyle) or Finnegan/Granger. Get it? Got it? Good.

Title: None

Fandom/Pairing: Wood/Quirrel, HP

Rating: PG-13 for mentions of wanking and such.

Disclaimer: Right. I'm JK. Oh, except for the writing of the books part. But hey, if you sorta squint and tilt your head waaaay over, I kinda look like her. If it's pitch black in the room. And though I use the words "stuttering freak" twice in this fic, it has nothing whatsoever to do with how I actually feel about those who have that particular speech impediment. 'Twas purely for the fic.

Anyway, onward I guess...




Oliver Wood liked people who stuttered. What could he say? Stuttering freaks were hot. However, there were few to be had at Hogwarts, where a simple charm could take care of a stutter faster than you could blink. Despite this setback, out dear Mr. Wood had had a few encounters with stutterers.


Percy Weasley for one. Sure, the boy was a pompous ass who really needed to be slapped upside the head, but when flustered he could stutter with the best of them, and Wood had had himself quite a few shower wanks imagining what that stuttering mouth could do to his body. ‘Course, nothing ever happened with Percy, mostly because of the aforementioned pompousness, but also a little bit because the git was incurably straight, though Wood might’ve overlooked that particular flaw if the other boy would just be nice.


Then there was Potter. Oh, boy, could he stutter…mostly when he was nervous or unsure of himself, which was rather often when Wood had spoken to him in his first year. Now, there was a boy who was practically perfect for him: stuttering, sweet, shy, and so far from straight he might as well be on the moon. The only problem was the age difference. Wood might have a thing for stutterers, but he much preferred the stutter not to be in a child’s lisp. So even though Potter was like that childhood fav Mary Poppins in that he was Practically Perfect in Every Way, Wood couldn’t bring himself to do anything with him. He didn’t even get so far as wanking over him, because every time he would try his erection would flag as soon as he imagined Potter saying anything. Kinda destroyed the mood.


But never fear, dear readers, for Wood found his one true love after all. His own personal stuttering freak, Quirrel. Okay, there was the whole drawback of Quirrel having Voldemort’s nasty mug sticking out of the back of his head, but really, all couples had their problems, right? Quirel wasn’t pompous, or too young, and having the Dark Lord sticking out of the back of his lover’s head was a small price to pay for the way Quirrel would stutter his name almost every time he saw him.


All in all, life was fine and dandy in the world of Wood, and he planned to keep it that way for as long as he could.

Tags: character: oliver wood, fanfic: harry potter, pairing: wood/quirrel

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