so, proceed if you dare...or if you are not easily offended and find the ranting of others amusing, as i do. :)
what sparked all this off, you may wonder. well, lemme take you back a bit...(ooh, ooh, a story)...pretend that theres that wafty bit for a mem scene...its so much more fun that way. i have been rather a bitch as of late to a person i call a freind...at least to her face. behind her back i am not so nice, or charitable about her faults. its rather stupid of me, i decide, so i for once act according to my feelings and i stop it. but i still make no effort to talk to said person. anyway, today i am playing yahtzee (which i happen to think is the greatest game on earth, go figure), and suddenly wham! im in memory land. i remember when i used to play yahtzee with this friend, and how much fun we had laughing and joking and vegging out. suddenly, i decide to bury the hatchet, as it were, and make amends...so i try contacting her...only, theres no reply. i am saddened by the revelation that she wants as little to do with me as i wanted to do with her, but i realize that it is no less than i deserve, if i think about it, which i do, considering i tend to think things to death and back again. aaaaanywho, im upset, blah, blah, blah, but then i start to think some more, and i realize that me and all of my so-called freinds do this sort of thing to each other all of the time. we pretend that were all great friends, and then crucify each other when we arent around. et tu, brute, right? its horrible, and im sure ill go through the grinder for quite awhile for saying this, but at this point i hardly care. im not trying to pretend i dont act like a bitch that way myself, because i do, but i think its about time that i stopped. i mean, we keep going on and on about how we are no longer children, but were still pulling the same shit that we pulled all through our childhoods, albeit without wasting so much paper insulting each other, thank god. im just thinking is this the kind of adult i want to be? constantly finding fault with everyone around me. sure, certain friends may lord their accomplishments over me, and yes, it will piss me off, but is that any reason to go BEHIND THEIR BACK and bitch about it? something tells me no. whatever happened to actually working out problems? or getting over the shit that wont change no matter how much we wish that it did? and why cant i just be happy for my friends instead of getting angry? sure, they may be rubbing shit it, but hell, everyone does that, whether they admit it or not. i dunno, maybe im just in a funk and will feel differently about this tomorrow...but i do think that all the time spent bitching about ppl i call friends when they arent even there to defend themselves is a huge waste...i could be doing something like actually having a life. imagine.
anyway, that is my bitchy rant for the evening. now i will move on to happier topics. the fifteenth was my birthday, and i had a rather fun time. i spent it with my friend holly and we just goofed off, proving that you can have a good time without spending a wad of cash. i saw a squee shirt at hot topic and i want it, want it, want it...but unfortunately i cannot afford it, as i do not have a job at the moment and funds are running low. am sad. wahh. on saturday went clothes shopping, was fun and surprisingly i got along with me mum...which is always a bonus in my eyes. saw the bourne supremacy, which was a really good movie with an awesome car chasing scene that i loved...and the cute guy from ghost ship is in it, thinner, but that is good cuz its just how i like em, but sadly he died. oh well. saw some very amusing photos of friends trip to six flags and got confused, but in a good way, i think. felt slight envy that they can handle the scary loopy roller coasters that i am desperately afraid of. and this saturday i do ozzfest, which i should be excited about but really cant bring myself to be, which is strange. when i first got the tickets, i was so freakin psyched i nearly choked my friends with the thank you hug...but now im like meh. i dont know...maybe that'll change as the date draws near. whatever, either way i plan on fully appreciating the tickets. ooh and im changing my hair color! wheeeehehehoo! and, sadly, i seem to have developed a strange liking for that commercial crest self brusher thingies...you know the one, it goes "rip, slip, brush, ah!" and then everyone does a lil dance. shit, i am weird.
well i think thats about it...except for the final thought for today of course, which is: i really hate ken jennings.