Lizz (random_glitch) wrote,

Emmerdale Robron Recap 17 October 2016

Okay, before I get started I would like to say that I have seriously NOT stopped squeeing madly since about eleven a.m. on Monday. Every time that I try to calm myself down or temper my happiness with dire predictions for the future (amnesia! Breakups! Death (but not really death because I know for a fact that both Aaron and Robert survive, thank ye gods)!), I think about how amazing this episode was and I am right back to my happy place. Even having a horrible suspicion that it's all going to go to hell very soon can't dampen my love for the episode.

Also, fair warning that this recap will be extremely picture heavy. I just can't help myself.

We open with a funeral, and fuck you, Emmerdale, you asshole show. *ahem* It is raining, and there are people with umbrellas walking alongside a coffin covered in roses while Harriet voiceovers the twenty third Psalm. And now we know that Ashley is for sure not dead because if he were Harriet would not be performing the service. So there's that I suppose. That's good; I didn't want Ashley to die, but if I had been worried about either Aaron or Robert I would be beyond pissed off. So I am guessing that we are going to get tiny hints like that for the canny viewer each night. Will have to look back and see what tonight's hint was. Someone on the DS forums said that the thought that they saw Paddy's hands and they might have. So that rules him out.

The funeral fades into Aaron under water, drowning. He's doing that horrible thing that people do when they are finally succumbing to the water in their lungs and sort of jerking in the water, just slightly. There is also the sound of his heartbeat in his ears and as it slows and his face goes still and blank, and his vision fades…

…it turns into Aaron in the bath, making a dead face that I kind of hate. It's worse than the lake scene, to be honest. So much worse. But then he snaps out of it and sits up and hellooo, sexy. Sorry I lost my train of thought, what with the arms and the chest and the arms.

Right. Let's just get this out of the way, shall we? I won't be good for much until it's done, so, without further ado, I give you:

And my personal fav:

(gimme all the back shots, tbh)

And yes, yes that is Robert sleeping in bed, probably taking up the whole thing like the hog he is, too.

And I'm right. Look at that sprawl.

Aaron: Could Vic play that radio any louder?
Robert: I don't mind a bit of Cher.
Me: Said no totally straight man, ever.
Robert: Bi
Aaron: What?
Robert: We'll get there.

Aaron: *putting on a really soft looking grey jumper* Then we seriously need to have a little chat about your taste then, don't we?
Robert: Well, I like you don't I?


He's grinning. You can't see very well because it's blurry but he's grinning. Those two are too cute. My heart can't take this.

Then Robert gets this super playful smile on his face and tries to pull Aaron back down to the bed:

Aaron, laughing: Get off!
Robert: Stay. Work from home.
Aaron: I'm already late because of you
Robert: Well meet me at the yard after. We'll go out for a drive somewhere
Aaron: Why?
Robert: Because I want to take you out
Aaron: Aren't you busy? (might be thought you were busy)
Robert: Not today, no
Aaron: What's so special about today?
Robert: I thought you were late.

Aaron is a bit confused, but he has accepted that his boyfriend is a freaking weirdo so he just laughs a little and takes off, Robert hating that he's leaving but LOVING the view,

Okay, one more just in case someone stumbles in here and is a Ryan Hawley fan:

It is worth mentioning that during this whole scene Robert is all soft voice and bedroom eyes, and that when Aaron isn’t paying attention, he keeps looking at him like he's the entire world.

Also worth mentioning is that as soon as he's out of the room, Robert is pulling the ring out of the nightstand and gazing at it soppily, because that's what he does now. That's what Aaron reduces him to. And then he in turn reduces me to a puddle of gooey feelings. Damn you, Sugden.

Later that morning, Robert is getting ready to surprise Aaron at the barn with a picnic (OMG WHY SO CUTE, ROBERT?? STAHP), and Vic is looking at the ring and once again, asking the important questions.

Vic: So if he says yes, does he buy you one?
Robert: *adorably put off*: If? You sounded a lot more confident yesterday
Vic: *totally laughing at her completely nerve wracked brother on the inside* When he says yes, does he have to buy you one?
Robert: I bought two but…he might not. He might think it's a bit-
Vic: -gay?
Robert: Maybe I've got this all wrong

Me: Aw, look at your little face

Vic: *thinking 'aw, look at your little face'*: I said it was perfect and I meant it. And he's gonna love it because he loves you.

Robert still looks adorably unsure and starts to pile things into the boot of his car.

(Roberts thoughts: Aaron loves bread. So getting a yes. Me: Is he popping his leg?)

Vic: You are still sure about this right?
Robert: I said I was didn't I?
Vic: Yeah, but…just with the timing. It's not 'cause of Rebecca is it, because I know she upset you…

VICTORIA BARTON. ASKING THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS. And I just realized that means he DID tell Vic that she was trying it on with him, or at least about all the things she insinuated about him & his relationship with Aaron. Holy SHIT. Robert Sugden, actually talking to someone. It's like I've entered the Twilight Zone.

Robert: It's because I can't see my future without him in it. But yeah, she made me think a bit so I'm trying to be more open about stuff. Can't get more open than this.

You know what? I'm saying it. Thank you, Maxine Alderton, for putting that in there. Thank you for getting rid of any shred of doubt that Robert was doing this because he loved Aaron. Thank you for directly telling us that ultimately it nothing to do with Rebecca and everything to do with how much Robert loves Aaron.

Vic: Well Robert, I'm very proud of ya, and dad would be too.

but before he can say anything Marlon pulls up in Paddy's SUV and jumps out with Leo, babbling about Daddy Paddy's Rabbit Pies.

Fandom: no1curr, back to Robert & Aaron, kthxbai.
Vic: It's a camping thing, don't ask
Fandom: not asking, please be getting back to Robert & Aaron, kthxbai
Vic: Paddy is going to freak. And Chas, unless you've already spoken to her
Robert: She's still down with Belle
Vic: She's back tonight though
Robert: Why would I do that anyway
Vic: Tradition or whatever
Robert: *scoffs* This is about as traditional as I get, thanks

But guess who decides to go and find Paddy? Yep, Mr. This is as Traditional as I Get, himself.

Paddy is being his usual dorky self and fake racing a car around, then he sees Robert and his eyes widen and he straightens.

Robert: Am I really that scary?
Me: We-ell, you did try to drown him in grain and then you threatened his wife and kid. Oh, not to mention shooting him in the arm and then holding him and Aaron host-
Robert: Yeah, okay. Shut it.
Paddy; What do you want?
Robert: Aaron hasn't seen much of you lately. I'm guessing that's 'cause of me?

What could I possibly have against you?
Robert: Look, I know I can't take it back, what I've done, and-
Paddy: Right. I said I wouldn't interfere, and I haven't. Can't we just go back to avoiding each other?
Robert: He considers you his dad. And it'd mean a lot to both of us if…I could have your blessing.

Pretty sure he knows he's not getting it. He can't even meet Paddy's eyes.

Paddy, all incredulousness melting into righteous fury as he goes on: Blessing? You can't have my blessing. You're the worst possible person for him.
Robert, stricken and earnest: I love him
Paddy: Yeah. You loved your wife, and you loved Katie once. You'll just end up breaking his heart, and I'll have to pick up the pieces.
Me: Ouch. But not necessarily untrue (you better not break his heart or I'll break your legs, motherfucker). Rebuttal, Robert?
Robert: You weren't picking up any pieces when Gordon was about. No, you were too busy breaking Rhona's heart with that slag from Leo's school.
Me: The one who died? Harsh, Robert.
Paddy, quiet: He knew I was there for him
Me: Did he? Because he sure didn't seem-
Robert: Only he didn't. I was there for him. "Worst possible person"? What does that make you then? Have a great trip.

And then he walks off like the drama queen he is, and leaves Paddy to stew in guilt. So. In my not so humble opinion, they both laid down a few home truths that the other didn't want to hear. But you know what? Both of those truths need to be discussed with Aaron. If there is a worry in Aaron's head that Robert is going to fall out of love with him the way that he did Chrissie and Katie, well, that's on him to say. And if Paddy let Aaron down, well, that's on the two of them to discuss. I hope that we see Paddy and Aaron talk it out (but later. I don't want Robert to be the one seriously hurt in stunt week although it's looking more and more likely). I love their relationship and it saddens me that it isn't what it used to be, both because of the Tess thing and because of the Gordon thing. Aaron needs his dad, right.

When Robert gets to the scrapyard he finds this waiting for him:

I'm not going to lie; the first time I watched this I rolled my eyes so hard that they fell out of my head and kept going across the floor. Do you know how hard it is to get lint of off eyeballs? Hard.

To his credit, Robert is as irritated by her showing up as I am.

Robert: You know, Aaron's on his way here and then we've got to be somewhere, so…
Rebecca: I've only come to apologize. I'll keep my hands to myself, I promise.
Me: I dooon't belieeeeve you

Robert nods and heads inside, Bex following. And guess who should see that little moment but Lachlan, our resident creeper, doing his creeping thing.

Rebecca, looking around, lightly mocking: Next stop: world domination.
Robert: We make money
Rebecca: And you get to wear neon. What a time to be alive
Me: Heh. Okay, that was pretty funny.
Robert: I'm not hearing that apology, Bex
Rebecca: Sorry. I was insensitive. I wasn't expecting you to be quite so spoken for.
Robert: Clearly
Rebecca: I hope he knows how lucky he is
Me: Now, maybe. Before? Not so much, sister. Actually, I think Robert's the lucky one.
Robert: Well, I know I am
Me: *stares* Y-yeah. What he said.
Rebecca: Ugh, okay, enough. I want the smart mouthed cynic back, please


Are we good?
Robert: Well, I suppose you did go to the trouble of returning my car
Rebecca: *laughs* Finders, keepers. Never happening.
Robert: Well, you can't blame a bloke for trying
Rebecca: *steps forward and kisses Robert's cheek* Can't blame a girl either
Me: I…want to be angry, but well, she did keep her promise. Hands were nowhere near him.

(I can. I can blame a girl a lot)

Not gonna lie, I LOVE how fed up he looks here. Hahaha he is so done with Bex and her shit.

Rebecca: See you soon

She bounces. And then, okay, this probably shouldn't crack me up as much as it does, but we get this:

(Lachlan: I'll hide here. Blend in with the scrap. Robert'll never see me)

And of course Robert doesn't see him because he's busy texting Aaron to find out where the hell he is, already. He should know better than to do this. The last time he got all excited to text Aaron something, Ryan came in and ruined it all. Now it's Lachlan's turn. He strolls into the portakabin, propping open the door to make a quick escape so you KNOW he's about to do something that's gonna piss someone off. Robert's like "the fuck?"

Lachlan: I know you're doing her
Me: Nice non sequitur, Lockie
Robert: I was talking to her. You know, the part you tend to skip, hence the need for all that therapy?
Lachlan: I heard you at home. You were trying to turn Rebecca against us. She's a good person. Better than you. Don't go near her again.
Robert: Sure. All you have to do is confess
Lachlan: *scoffs* I can make stuff happen
Me: Like magic?
Lachlan: I can make stuff so bad you'd be begging me to stop
Me: Like dark magic?
Robert: That's terrifying

Lachlan: I've got all the messages. You, pretending to be my dad. And I've still got counseling. If I said sommat, they'd have to tell the police
Robert: What, about how you gunned down Lawrence?
Lachlan: About how my gay stepdad just wouldn't leave me alone


(bisexual stepdad, motherfucker)
Lachlan: *does a really bad tortured face* That's why it all happened with Alicia. I..I didn't know any better.
Robert: What, you really think you could pull that off?
Lachlan: I learnt to lie from the best
Robert: They'll never believe you
Lachlan: Believed your boyfriend. Tell me, how many years did his dad get again?
Aaron: *all low and menacing and really alarmingly sexy, considering* Eighteen years

Also, Aaron is RIGHT THE FUCK BEHIND LACHLAN LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A HORROR FLICK, and then he's grabbing him and hauling him out of the portakabin so that he can dunk his head in a conveniently placed barrel of water (ha, I wonder if they keep those on hand now just in case someone gets the bright idea to set someone's car on fire).

Robert: Aaron!
Lachlan: All he had to do was leave us al-blurghghgh

Aaron pulls him up and tosses him down. He's incandescent with rage and it is glorious.

Aaron: You threaten him, you threaten me, right? You open your weird little mouth to anyone, I swear to G-

(Robert is very inappropriately turned on by this. We all are, Robert. Well, maybe not Lachlan)

Robert: *pulls Aaron back* He's just a kid, alright? It's alright.
Lachlan: Leave Rebecca alone. I will do it; you know I will
Robert: It's alright. It's over. I won't talk to her again.

Robert's face is really irritated that is proposal scheme has been interrupted not once, but twice by bloody Whites. Aaron's face is asking Robert what he's done. Uh-oh.

They go back to the pub, where Aaron, hilariously, is lounging like he's just hanging out with a mate and Robert is agitatedly pacing back and forth.

Robert: You didn't have to go all bodyguard
Aaron: Yeah, well he's tapped
Robert: *voice kind of hilariously high* We knew that
Aaron: What made him say it, anyway?
Robert: He thinks I'm gonna tell Rebecca about what he did to Lawrence
Me: Yeah, but that's not all of it, is it, Robert?
Aaron: Well, you already have
Robert: He doesn't know that
Aaron: So what if she blabs?
Robert: She won't

(it should be noted here that Ashley, Laurel, & Doug have just pulled up in Ashley's blue Ford Focus. Ashley stops, then asks if they're late. Everyone looks uncomfortable, and they lead Ashley inside, Laurel saying that the only thing they're late for is a nice nap. This will come up again Thurs & Fri so must be included. Also, this:

Now, back to fluff.)

Vic literally comes skipping up, super excited.

Vic: Hello, you two. Should I crack open -

Vic: - the crisps? Smoky Bacon do ya?
Aaron: *completely oblivious to the anvils that Vic is dropping, but not so oblivious to the fact that his boyfriend is totally hiding something about the Rebecca situation and still stewing about Lachlan* No, we're alright, thanks. *to Robert* It's just, he's been through it before hasn't he? What with Alicia and court and everything. So it's obvious he can be convincing.
Robert: So I play it safe with Rebeca from now on
Aaron: *almost cutting him off. No way in hell he's not suspicious* No, Robert, just stay away from her.
Robert: He won't say anything
Aaron: If they believe him, then I'm gonna lose ya

Robert's all touched. He reaches out and grasps Aaron's knee (I think).

Robert: Hey. Can we just go out and forget we even saw him?

Aw, my boy still has proposal plans. But Aaron is not hip to his jive, so he shuts that shit down right quick.

Aaron: I can't, I've got another job on
Robert: Well do it tomorrow
Aaron: No, just text me where and when and I'll meet up with you later

Aw, he's so disappointed. Proposal 1, thwarted.

Vic pops back over, and Robert flashes his disappointment at her.

Robert: Oh. Blow the whole thing why don't ya?
Vic: Did you bottle it?
Robert: NO (ha. He's just gets more and more offended every time she asks)
Vic: Listen. Don't be nervous and don't think about it. Just ask.

Cut to my stupid sop in the barn, with his lame ass decorations and his nervous twisty hands and probably the most awful proposal known to man.

Robert: I know you think that I don't want this because of what I said the other day. But I didn't mean it like you thought I did, and …well anyway, I just…I want to marry ya. Will ya marry me?

(aw. Look at his hopeful little face)

Forget what I said. You do need to think about it. Like, a lot.

And Robert's face just falls. It's hilarious.

Me: *dies laughing*

Robert, so offended to have Vic trashing his love: He'll run a mile if I go over the top
Me: Point
Vic: You're nowhere near the top
Me: Touché

Then they hear Aaron's car pull up, and Vic hops up quickly.

Vic: Right. You know that thing you said this morning about him and your future? Just say that, because that might actually get you a yes

She gives his arms two brisk pats and scampers off, exiting just as Aaron enters. Robert hurries to meet him.

Aaron: You alright?
Robert *hilariously gesturing towards his set up like "I did a thing, Aaron. Look at my thing that I did": Yeah

Aaron looks at the set up and gives it a nod of acknowledgement.

Aaron: You do know we've actually got a bedroom now don't you?

(aaron's like: dude. Bed. Sheets instead of scratchy hay? Remember that?)

Robert: Yeah, and *laughs* half your family and a pub full of people.

He steps towards Aaron and puts his hands at his waist, and Aaron rests his hands sweetly on Robert's forearms and they just smile at each other for a second, and I die. STOP BEING CUTE BITCHES. I CAN'T DEAL WITH IT.

No, but really. Understand my pain:

(I cannot deal with how cue they are. I just. I can't. These two are killing me)

Aaron makes an adorable face and says, "still stinks in here"
Me: Haha oh man I love how you are so picky now that you have Robert for your own.
Robert: Careful eh, you're starting to sound like a romantic
Me: *eyebrows climb up forehead*

Robert leans in for a kiss, and Aaron lets him have it for all of a second before he pulls away.

Robert: What?
Aaron: It's nothing

Robert goes back in again but this time Aaron pulls away completely.

(Robert: flowers, blanket, bread. What did I forget? Aaron: Oh man oh man oh man I did something. I did a bad something)

Robert: What, have I done something wrong
Aaron: no, no.

Then his face does these shifts and finally settles on something like this:

Then Aaron strides out of the barn, Robert following him, getting just a little more panicked the longer Aaron doesn't answer him.

Robert: Aaron. Where are you going? Aaron, what is it? WHAT?

Aaron leads Robert to the boot of his car, and then.


Aaron: That

This is so great, because it's all in Aaron's expressions and the way he's moving. Danny Miller is a treasure and we so rarely get to see him do anything comedic on this show, so I am delighted.

(Robert: so this is what it felt like to be you that time with Cain. Aaron: I…may not have thought this through)

Meet "that":

Robert slams the boot closed on Lachlan, who immediately begins pounding. Yay headache.

Robert: There's a teenager in your boot
Aaron: Yeah, I know
Robert: "I thought you'd changed, Robert. Abducting people's bad, Robert"
Aaron: Yeah, yes, but he's a sick little liar!
Robert: Who won't have to lie about anything anymore because we're gonna be up for kidnapping!
Aaron: Worked with Ryan didn't it?
Robert: And you gave me hell for Ryan!
Aaron: Hang on, I did this for you!
Robert: *scoffs* Well I can think of better gifts

The expressions really sell it, but it moves so fast I can't cap any of it. Through the entire argument Lachlan is just pounding away at the lid of the boot and I am cracking up.

Robert: So what now, Cain?

(he's so offended I am dying)
We teach him a lesson, don't we?

Proposal 2, thwarted.

The two of them drive out into the woods and stop the car.

Robert: Nice spot. What, are you going to ramble him into submission.
Aaron: *gets out of the car* Get the gun

Instead of getting the gun (haha oh Aaron I love you but what are you smoking right now?) Robert pulls the ring out of his jacket pocket and sticks it in the glove box, presumably so that he won't lose it while they deal with Lachlan. Honestly I think it's because he's having a bit of a temper tantrum. He does so hate it when things don't go his way.

Aaron: You have brought the gun?

Robert: No Aaron. I forgot the gun. I was too busy sharpening my machete
Me: *cackles* Robert right now you are my favorite.

(why will you not play along, Robert?)

They pop open the boot.


Aaron: I would be gutted to be you right now. Things are going to get a lot worse. Mate.

He pulls Lachlan out of the boot, and Lachlan promptly knees him in the stomach and runs away.

Robert: You know, tying their legs together is kind of key
Aaron: I forgot I was with the expert
Robert: Well, this expert reckons we're both getting arrested unless you catch him

He is just so exasperated. I am dying. Criminal masterminds, these two are not. Next time talk to Cain first, Aaron. He's way better at this than either of you.

Aaron goes tearing after Lachlan, who is doing an admirable job of fleeing, considering his hands are tied. I'm serious; it's hard to run away from someone with tied hands. He takes a pause to rip the tape off of his mouth, because he may be a little creep, but he's not stupid. If Aaron catches him (when Aaron catches him) words will be his best weapon. Plus it must have been very damp, what with all that panting.

Aaron: Lachlan! Lachlan, wait!

Lachlan does not wait, and nearly goes over a cliff with a very long drop into water.
But he doesn't, and Aaron pulls him away from the edge. They tussle, and Aaron winds up on his belly a bit close to the edge. Lachlan immediately takes advantage of this and drops on top of him, edging him even closer to the drop with the weight of him. Aaron flails.

Lachlan: I'd be gutted to be you. 'Cause things are going to get a lot worse. Mate.

Robert finally shows up and yanks Lachlan off of Aaron. Haha he totally just strolled through the woods didn't he? Or stomped. Berating Aaron in his head the entire time. Hee.

Robert: What are you doing?
Lachlan: *to Aaron* You psycho!
Aaron: You're the psycho!
Lachlan: You were gonna kill me!
Robert: No, h-he only wanted to scare you
Lachlan: Oh, only?
Aaron: I know what you did to Alicia and how you made her feel. You don't get to hurt anyone else and walk away and you don't get to lie about him and walk awa - what are you laughing at?"

And then he mutters something under his breath and lunges. Robert puts up a hand to stop him ("C'mon, c'mon, let's go") while creepy Lachlan cracks up creepily:

(no but seriously. This picture kind of freaks me out)

Lachlan: What's funny is you, protecting him, when he's hooking up with Rebecca.


(fucking Whites. Seriously)

("you what now?")

Robert lets go of Aaron and looks mighty guilty. Lachlan chuckles, and back in the boot he goes (are his feet tied this time? Don't think so. C'mon Robert, I know he's a twerp and you just want to shut him up but take your own damn advice, yeah?)

Lachlan, really enjoying his moment: You know what he's like. It’s the truth. He cheated on my mum with her way before you. It's been going on for ages-"
Robert: *duct tapes with extreme prejudice*

Lachlan: Mmmph, mmmph. MMMPH!

Aw, but look at Aaron:

He totally believes Lachlan.

Robert: I'm not sleeping with her
Aaron: Why's you look so guilty then?
Robert: *really, really doesn't want to be saying any of this* It did happen four years ago.
Aaron: So what, you've had both of them?
Me: *cough*Vic*cough*
Robert: I'm not proud of myself
Me: Bet you were at the time though, weren't you?
Robert: It got more serious with Chrissie so I ended it with Rebecca
Aaron: And you didn't tell me any of this because..?
Robert: It's in the past!
Aaron: Yeah, but she's back now!

So this whole time Lachlan's been pounding away in the boot, and they've just been ignoring him. Now Robert glances back and lowers his voice, as if Lachlan might hear him over the sound of his own beating fists.

Robert: You know why she's back.

Robert: What Lachlan heard…that was Rebecca trying it on with me.

Robert, all earnestness and "please believe me" eyes: I turned her down

(I actually love this because the tone of his voice says "obviously" even as it's saying "please believe me". Like Aaron should know that's what happened; like it should be obvious)
Robert: She doesn't come close. No one else comes close.
Aaron: Right, okay.
Robert: Yeah?
Aaron: Yeah. So what do we do with [Lachlan] now?
Robert: Just, drive around for a bit. Let him stew.

Aaron nods and gets in the car. And I really do think he has decided to believe Robert - you can see it happen in his face before he agrees - but that doesn't mean that he's not going to be obsessing about this for a while, or that the discussion is over. And Robert knows it, too.

Doing the driving around bit (Lachlan still pounding away, lol), Aaron is visibly agitated. Tapping the wheel, glancing at Robert and then away, shifting in his seat. Robert is kind of waiting for him to come out with it. He's not starting this conversation.

But instead of talking about anything, Aaron decides to take his irritation out on the driver in front of them, who is moving incredibly slow because he is hauling a bunch of doomed chickens.

Aaron: Oh, c'mon mate, what're you doing?
Driver: Driving slowly with my precious cargo. You hear that, Emmerdale? Precious. Cargo. Not one feather should be harmed on those tiny precious bodies.
Me: Mmm, chicken.

So he gets impatient as hell and swerves around, nearly colliding with a car coming the other way.

Me: Cute, Emmerdale. Fuckers.

Robert is scared. If there was an "oh, shit" handle, he would be glued to that baby. As it is he's ready to face the Wrath of Aaron.

Robert: Boy racer
Aaron: Don't tell me how to drive
Robert: Do you seriously want to get stopped?
Aaron: *checks for coppers*
Me: Hee. Oh Aaron, if there had been a cop there you'd know already
Robert: You know I think I liked it better when you were taking it out on me. At least nobody dies that way.
Me: Shut your mouth.
Aaron: Oh, right, so: what? Are you saying you want me to start kicking off at you then?
Robert: *exasperated* I told you, I didn't do anything
Aaron: *equally as exasperated* Yeah, well, she threw herself at ya
Robert: *thinking "finally, he's getting it"* Yeah
Aaron: Because she thought she had a chance!
Robert: *offended* Well, I didn't make her think that
Aaron: Well, people are always gonna think that
Robert: What, because I'm bi?
Me: PRAISE JESUS AND HALLELUJAH, HE SAID IT. THE FANDOM CAN NOW REJOICE (and hopefully shut the fuck up about it now)
Aaron: Well, at least you said it

(ha. He is so offended by that, I can't even deal with it)
Robert: Pull over

I didn't mean t-
Robert: I know what you meant
Aaron: You just don't talk to me about this stuff, Robert so I'm-
Robert: You think the minute a girl offers it on a plate I'm just gonna go there
Me: We-ell, it's not like you don't have form…
Aaron: How should I know?
Robert: I'm bisexual, okay? I like both; it doesn't mean I'm gonna cheat

(poor baby, he's really trying to wrap his head around this)
Well, I can't be both
Robert: *REALLY Offended, now* Obviously

(seriously wondering wtf is wrong with his boyfriend)
Aaron: it's just…confusing
Robert: No, it's really not
Aaron: So then talk to me about it. Why did you always say you were straight?
Robert: …

Robert gets out of the car and stomps off like a proper drama queen. Aaron watches him go a moment before following like a good boyfriend.

Aaron: Robert, please, c'mon; I get it. You don't have to say anything
Robert: I know what I am now, I'm just not that great at talking about it
Aaron: Yeah, well, I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to push you

And okay, this is serious and Robert Sugden is about to break my heart, but I can't stop giggling about how Robert stomps off to this extremely scenic spot to sit down and have a sulk:

It's gorgeous, is what I am saying. Robert might have horrible taste in shirts, but damn if he doesn't know a poetic place to brood when he sees it.

Aaron goes and sits next to him, and you can see Robert fighting with himself a moment before he speaks.

Robert: I was always the disappointment with my dad.
Aaron, carefully: Did you worry about what he'd think?
Robert: I know what he thought
Aaron: What, you came out to him?
Robert: We had this lad help on the farm
Aaron: And…you liked him?
Robert: *twitchy nod*
Me: Oh hell this is just like when Paddy asked Aaron if he liked Robert. Twitchy nods and all.
Aaron: So…did something happen?
Robert: It would have, but he caught us. In my room. He sacked him and leathered me, and we never talked about it again. He said it was for skivving but he couldn't look at me for weeks; I knew what it was for. I was fifteen. Nobody knows, not Diane, or Vic
Aaron: I won't say anything to anyone. I didn't think he was that kind of bloke
Robert, teary eyed and trembling jaw: He wasn't. He just…he didn't want a son like me. So I buried it. I've spent all this time - years - trying to be the person he wanted me to be. I just want to be myself now, with you.


You're not a disappointment, you're amazing. And he was mad not to see that
Robert: Oh, shut up
Aaron: No, I mean it, I love ya.

He looks at Robert for a moment.

Aaron, slowly and clearly. Intense: I mean it. I love you
Robert: *takes a deep breath and exhales* Finally
Me: Yes, finally. I'm not crying. Who's crying? You're crying.
Aaron: Well, I'm not great at talking about this stuff either. But you know…
Robert: I know
Aaron: I never stopped

And then we get a kiss initiated by Aaron, and when they pull back they just rest their foreheads together and breathe and that's it; I am dead. That's the big secret. The funeral at the beginning of the episode was for me. I'm dead and currently recapping as a ghost thanks to these two fucking beautiful idiots

(this is gorgeous. Oh my god)

And Robert realizes - holy shit. This is The Moment. The one that he was trying so hard to create. This is when he should propose.


But alas, Robert put the ring in the glove box and cannot take this perfect moment when they are so fucking close and it's gorgeous and Aaron just told him how amazing he is and how much he loves him to propose. Motherfuck.

Robert: Hold that thought

He takes off.


Okay, he totally thinks that Robert went back for condoms.

Condoms or ring, neither of them get brought out, because the way that Aaron parked has caused a police officer to take notice.

He gets out of his car as Aaron and Robert come out of the woods.

Mr. Policeman: *to Robert* This your car?
Aaron: No, it's mine
Mr. Policeman: Looks abandoned
Robert: Oh no, that's just his parking
Lachlan: *kicks the boot*
Aaron: *knocks back to cover the noise* Definitely not abandoned, I love this car
Robert: He loves that car

These two, honestly. They are not slick.

Mr. Policeman: *not buying it* You won't mind if I check it's not stolen, then.

He goes to do that, and the two of them have the following conversation in low voices:

Aaron: Robert, we need to go now
Robert: He'll chase us
Aaron: I'll just put my foot down. Now c'mon
Mr. Policeman: Aaron Dingle?
Aaron: Yeah. See, told you. Not stolen. Well, we'd better get going
Mr. Policeman: I better just do a quick check of the vehicle. Tick all the boxes

My criminal morons:

Lucky for them, right at this convenient time a call comes over Mr. Policeman's radio, calling for local responders to help look for a blue Ford Focus, license plate "November, Charlie, five, zero, Mike, Tango, Foxtrot." Dispatch warns that he might be driving erratically.

Aaron & Robert: Thank fuck
Me: Oh dear god. Ashley
Emmerdale: hehehe

Mr. Policeman: Will comply. Over. *to Aaron & Robert* Duty calls. Next time lads, get an 'otel, eh? You'll catch your death.
Me: hee

Aaron & Robert:

(I love how offended they both look. Like, this isn't even the weirdest place the two of you have gotten it on, guys.)

But they're safe (from Mr. Policeman, at any rate, eeek), and they all get back in their cars and start driving again.

Aaron: Cheeky little git
Robert: Just be happy he didn't make us pop the boot
Aaron: So what, now what's this big secret?

(oh, just proposal number three thwarted. Fuck's sake)
I'll tell you when we get back


Well, seeing as we are talking about stuff
Robert: Oh, here we go
Aaron: I just want to understand it better
Robert: *sighs* Alright
Aaron: Right. Alright, so…what happens if you meet a woman? You know, one that does come close?
Robert: I won't
Aaron: Yeah, but, just…if ya did
Robert: The same thing as if you meet another bloke. Nothing, I hope, because we're together
Aaron, voicing the real worry: What if I'm not enough?
Robert: You're enough
Aaron: Chrissie wasn't

And I would like to stop this train for a moment and talk about that, because I really don't think that it's the bisexual thing that bothers Aaron here. Or not really. I mean, I know that he is fixating on the woman thing, but I think that is for two reasons. One, even though he admitted that he'd had one night stands with men while with Chrissie and before, he hadn't slept with other men while he was with Aaron (I honestly don't believe a word of what he said to Aaron in the scrapyard. That was a prime example of Robert trying (and managing) to hurt Aaron as deeply as possible). Two, he can't compete with a woman, can he? A woman can give Robert things that Aaron can't. Of course, Aaron can give him things that a woman can't, but he's not focused on that right now. Aaron is insecure. He has no clue how wonderful he is and how many people love him. He assumes that Robert will find something better because in his head, he's not the best catch.

And then there's this: Aaron has had, what? Five people in his life that he's been with? Vic, Holly, Jackson, Ed, and then Robert. Vic and Holly were denial, Jackson was love, yeah, but tragic. It never really got off of the ground. And Ed wasn't that deep for Aaron. Basically he was a way to get the hell out of dodge before he got arrested for arson. And then Robert enters his life and it's done. Over. Aaron goes falling face first into love and might never climb his way back out. And Robert? Well, Robert's had everyone. Robert gets bored. Robert strays. And falling in love with someone like that is dangerous, because there's no guarantee that he'll keep it in his pants for you.

For the record, I think that he will. At this point Robert honestly can't see anyone but Aaron. I guess that could change in future, but I do believe that this is the first time that Robert has felt this way about anyone, and he'll do anything to keep it. Anything to keep Aaron looking at him like he makes the sun rise in the morning. I think a lot of his new leaf is wrapped up in Aaron and the way Aaron sees him. It isn't that Aaron is blind to his faults - it would be hard for him to be after meeting his awful side first - it's that Aaron believes that Robert is mostly good underneath it all. And Robert wants to be, for Aaron. If he were to lose him, I don't think it would be pretty.

Anyway, back to it.

Robert: Chrissie wasn't the right person
Aaron: Well, how is anyone ever right?
Robert: When you know, you know
Me: you know?
Robert: What, you think I'd do anything with a pulse?
Me: Well, your track record does suggest…
Aaron: Well, you had Chrissie and Rebecca at the same time! You had Chrissie and you came looking for me!
Robert: I didn't go looking for ya! I met ya, and you changed everything.
Aaron: So then why keep her hanging on? And why beg her to take you back?
Robert: Because I couldn't accept it then
Aaron: Oh, you mean you couldn't choose?
Robert: I've chosen, alright! I've chosen you!

And you know what? I'm gonna have to side with Robert, here. He did what he did not because he wanted Chrissie, but because he was terrified of what wanting Aaron meant. He had chosen Aaron long before he was ready to admit that he had. He was so hot and cold with him not because he didn't care for Aaron, but because he was fighting himself. His heart longed for Aaron, but his brain kept going back to his father's disappointment, and he nearly drove himself crazy trying to reconcile the two. I will never say what he did was right. Ever. All I am saying is that all the shit he pulled wasn't completely down to being a selfish prick.


Aaron: So why are ya getting so angry about it then?
Robert: Because I would have proven it by now if ya hadn't kidnapped someone and ruined it!

Hahaha and there it is. "I'm not mad you kidnapped Lachlan, Aaron, I'm mad you did it today.Couldn't you have waited?"

Aaron: What are you on about?

Robert, really working himself into a full lather, reaches into the glove box and yanks out the ring. He brandishes it at Aaron furiously

Robert: This! I'm talking about this!
Aaron, using zero of his brain cells: What's that for?

(are you fucking kidding me? Btw, his eyes are gorgeous in this entire scene)
For you, ya idiot! So I could ask ya to marry me!

(the fuck you say?)

And then of course, disaster:

Robert: AARON!

Cut to black, because Emmerdale is awful and wants to kill us.

It's pretty much a given that one of these two is going to end up at death's door because of this. The beginning seems to suggest that it's going to be Aaron, and to be honest I hope that it is.

But random_glitch, Aaron is your fav!

Yes, yes he is. Which is why I want everyone crowded around him, sobbing, worried about his fate. Plus, look. We already know that Danny Miller is capable of gutting us emotionally. I think that it would be nice if they gave Ryan Hawley the chance to do the same. He was very good when he talked about Jack; he even had me tearing up, and usually I am left a little cold by his emotional scenes. In my opinion he's improved leaps and bounds since the lodge episodes, and I really think that he can handle and episode or two where he's an emotional wreck.

I do have a sneaking suspicion that they are going to pull some sort of fast one though, where it looks like Aaron is the one at death's door but in the end it turns out to be Robert. God I hope not. But I do know how much they love to see Aaron cry. Plus they've given us so much great Robert stuff I can't help but think that they're doing it so that we'll feel for him when he collapses. I guess we shall see.

This episode was so excellent, though. It gave me so much of what I wanted that if I wasn't absolutely positive that neither Aaron nor Robert was going to die I would be extremely worried. Soaps don't give us this much wonderful stuff without taking it away, it is known. However I find that I just can't help but feel positive that things are going to turn out okay. ♥
Tags: pairing: robert/aaron, recaps, tv: emmerdale

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