Lizz (random_glitch) wrote,

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Don't Tell me to be Prudent in that Smoldering Voice

I feel like I have been smoking the crack.

Quicky Summary
Right. So Bella dreams of Edward, as he glows and walks away, leaving her in darkness. After that, she dreams of him often, though always on the periphery. School, and she's gotten herself into a tizzy because he's ignoring her, and no one else seems to be worried if he is okay after The Van Incident. She is inexplicably popular and it annoys her.

Even though he is blowing her off, Edward interests Bella more than ever, and she can't help watching him like some sort of amateur stalker. She sees his eyes slowly bleeding black, and wonders why. There is a dance coming up, and girls are supposed to ask the boys, but apparently none of her male classmates got the memo, because the first thing that they do is ask Bella, one after another, if she will go with them. Bella is irritated that they all like her so much and tells them that she will be gone to Seattle that day, so no dances for her.

Edward has a shiny, sexy Volvo.

There is a ridiculously long description of Bella making dinner for her dad. I don't care about her encheladas. I really, really don't.

After overhearing that she will be in Seattle on the day of the dance, Eds asks if he can drive her there, because he is "sick of trying to stay away from [her]", even though it would be "prudent" to do so. His voice is smoldering and his eyes are intense, and Poor Bella is so overcome that she temporarily loses the ability to speak and can only nod. Then Big E strides off, with a warning that she really should stay away from him.

My Turn
- Oh, so a sparkly - I mean glowy - Eds hangs out in the periphery of your dreams, does he? Does it feel like he's there with you as you dream? Ooooh, spooky.

- Wowsa. Yet another unwelcome fanboy for our poor, abused heroine to deal with. Here's what I don't get: if she's so friggen upset by their attention, why doesn't she do something about it, instead of constantly whining about how irritating it is? You know what I find irritating, Bellster? Someone whining about something that they could easily fix, instead of, you know, fixing it.

- And so starts what I am told is the endless repetition of the word chagrin. One would think, if SMeyers went to all the trouble of finding nine thousand ways to describe the attractiveness of Sparkletard, she might've at least thought about doing the same with this word. But one would be wrong. So wrong.

- Okay, this is funny. Every once in a while, when he's "ignoring" Bella, Eds gets a stiffie, and Bells wonders if it's for her. That's so romantic.

- From all her long distance stalking, Bella can tell that Edward's eyes are blackening up again, but no one else in the school has cottoned on to that particular fact? Does the entire population of Forks spend all of their time avoiding those golden orbs that root Bella to the spot every time he deigns to glance at her?

- Right, I am sure that we the readers are supposed to look down on Jess because she only likes Bells for her popularity...but Bella is such a crap friend that I can't actually blame her. Sure, it is wrong to use someone for popularity, but it's also pretty clear that Miss Popular couldn't care less if Jess dropped dead, so...even trade, I guess

- How many friggen romance novels did SMeyers read for "inspiration" before she penned this drivel? Bells is "electrically aware" of Sparkle's presence...I just imagined thier hands brushing lightly, accidentally...and Bella being flung out of her seat by the pure, electric force of it, her clothes smoking and her hair standing on end. Aaaand this whole thing is funny again.

- A wave of guilt? For telling a guy you barely like that you aren't going to a dance? Really?

- Crazy Bella is self-aware enough to admit that she is being a bit of a psycho when it comes to Edward...I wish that this glimmer of self awareness had lead her to realize that she should actually do as he says and stay away, but I fear that once again, we're supposed to coo at how romantic it is that he makes her act like a crazy person

- Ah, here it is. The "I'm bad for you, stay away, I'll only hurt you, this is for your own good" blah-cakes. And she just eats it right up, because she is a stupid twat. And now I am back to irritated.

- How on earth did this bitch take care of her mother, considering she can barely stand up without toppling back over?

- And another boy wants in her pants. At least there's no wave of guilt this time around to torment her. I don't know that our poor heroine could handle such horrible, crippling pain a second time around.

- Aaargh, she drives me nuts. Her "quota of patience" has been "used up" by the absolute annoyance of not one, not two, but three boys asking her out? Oh, the HORROR.

- Hee, Bella is that crazy muttering lady that everyone tries to avoid

- Since when is Edward "interesting"? All he does is glower and clench his fists.

- Asking permission from your parents to go to a big city when you are only seventeen is setting a bad precedent. I mean, they might expect you to let them know where you're going all the time or something. You know, so that they know where you are in case something happens. Parents are definitely smoking the crack pipe.

- That Edward. Such a charmer. The way to every girls heart is through insults and rudeness. Just pair it up with all this talk of how prudent it would be to stay apart, but how you just can't do it in a smoldering voice with intense golden eyes, and you're in. At least if the girl you're trying to seduce is dumbass Bella.

Sim: For what I am looking for, not much.
Quoteables: Zip
The Many Faces of SParkles: too perfect, beautiful
Chagrin O-Meter: 1
Grade: C-
Tags: authors: l - z, book titles: l - z, reviews: books

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